Six

December 23, 2005

Six

Lunch is the best part about working in a television station. You feel like those rock stars you see in Mtv Cribs. There’s everything you might possibly want to eat or drink, and if there’s something in particular you want that isn’t there, all you have to do is ask.

“You like that, don’t you?� Kathryn means the fifty million big macs I’ve had up to now. “It’s the best part about working in a television station.�
“This is hardly television,� Kathryn says sticking a finger in the cheese dip. “I’m tired of this shit.� Marcia was right then, Kathryn is upset about something. The way she licks her finger full of cheese dip reminds you of why you should be careful what your kids look up on the internet.
I have to ask, “You ok?� now she’ll say no, then a pause then she’ll say yes.
“No, everything’s just peachy.� She smiles. She pauses. She speaks. “Well, it’s just I’m getting tired of this, you know?� I do know. But I say, “What do you mean?� asking Kathryn to explain something is like trying to get a frog to comprehend what a tetrahedron is. It’s useless and stupid.
“I don’t know, you know? It’s like everything is so… I don’t know. It’s just so… God! So, out of context. Like, this isn’t what was supposed to happen, you know? Like… I don’t know, you know?� She’s one of those people who always asks everyone else if they know.
“Marcia said you were upset about something. Are you thinking of quitting?� “No, I’m thinking of changing, you know? Changing everything, not leaving, just changing.� She rolls her eyes up to the ceiling, where some people are straightening some lights. “Marcia’s a bitch.� She says this, and brings her eyes down to me. Then she winks her right eye, dips her finger in the dip once more and leaves.
I look down at the dip and I can see where her finger came out. God knows where that finger’s been, there’s no way I’m trying that dip.

What made Kathryn say Marcia was a bitch is beyond me, but she seemed very determined so I figured she must have her reasons.

“And so, you see why this vacuum is so much more? Not only have I demonstrated here how you can suck up pretty much anything, but you’ve also seen how it can clean up your drain pipes and work as a leaf or snow blower! But wait, there’s more! There’s a small surprise I’ve saved for the end.�
“Really? I’ll have to see that to believe it, Dave!�
“Oh, and you will Heather. Have you ever had trouble reaching up on top of the kitchen cabinets or that spot just above the windows?�
“Oh yes, I know what you’re talking about. I hate that spot!�
“Well, with the 3000 Deluxe Whale Vacuum, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Because you can also use the actual vacuum as a stepping stool to reach those places and since the hose is the longest you’ll ever find, you won’t have any problems reaching those awfull high places.�
If you think that’s phony, you should hear it in spanish. That’s what Kathryn is tired of, that’s what she meant by out of context. She doesn’t know what “out of context� is, but that’s what she meant.

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